Relationship Problems and Pregnancy: How to solve Relationship Stress during Pregnancy

Table of Content

• What is pregnancy?

• Why does a good couple relationship matter during pregnancy?

• Relationship changes during pregnancy

• What factors can have a negative impact on the couple's relationship?

• Partner support during pregnancy

• Why is partner support important during pregnancy?

• What should a partner do to avoid conflict during pregnancy?

• Domestic violence during pregnancy

• How can a partner get support during pregnancy?

• Relationship with family and friends during pregnancy

• Take-home points

• FAQ on relationship problems during pregnancy

Introduction

• From the moment you learned you were pregnant until delivery, being pregnant is an emotional experience. Beginning with an invitation to friends to share the news of your new addition to the family, you and your partner will organise every detail.

• On occasion, you can have a diverse viewpoint on how to raise the child. Perhaps neither you nor your partner are prepared for such a heavy burden. because transitioning from being a couple to becoming parents is difficult. This leads to some relationship problems during pregnancy. 

• Very often one of the partners may feel left out. Being pregnant can be stressful for both the mother and father. So, being prepared is not enough to handle the storm of these emotions all at once that results in relationship problems during pregnancy. 

• You need to be extra focused on your relationship to put out all the fights that may light up during these nine months (pregnancy).

What is pregnancy?

• Pregnancy:  Also known as the gestation period is the stage during which a baby develops in the woman’s womb. 

• When you are pregnant your body releases many hormones to support childbirth. The release of these hormones may affect your physical and mental health. 

• You may experience a lot of mood swings in pregnancy along with increased breasts, increased hunger, frequent urination, tiredness, pelvic girdle pain, morning sickness, back pain. 

• Mood swings in pregnancy are the reason for many conflicts and most couple breakups.

• The word ‘mood swings’ has a literal meaning in it - that says the mood will swing here and there. You will for sure experience various emotions from highs to lows all at a time. All these changes are mainly due to the hormones- progesterone (Hormone that regulates and maintains pregnancy and menstrual cycle) and estrogen (Hormone responsible for female reproductive functions). 

• What can these hormones do to pregnant women to have relationship stress during pregnancy? is discussed below

Why does a good couple relationship matter during pregnancy?

One of the most crucial aspects of fostering a positive relationship during pregnancy is communication. Clearing up misconceptions, averting disappointments, and managing conflict are all made possible through effective communication. It's necessary for advancing your relationship. Here are some communication pointers:

• Discuss your feelings over the pregnancy and what lies ahead, including both the advantages and disadvantages. Instead of blaming your partner when you speak, try to explain your points.

• Discuss your aspirations for your family as well as the customs and traditions that are significant to you both.

Relationship changes during pregnancy

With the onset of pregnancy, you start a new phase in your relationship with your partner. You expect more attention from your husband, you care more for each other to make this work in peace.

• Parenthood will change your focus from one other to the third person, your future child. You will experience a new way of love in each other towards the baby.

• For many couples, pregnancy is an exciting time. Along with pregnancy, comes change and new challenges. Mood swings in pregnancy can be stressful at first.

• New financial and emotional burdens make you vulnerable, sometimes leading to conflicts. 

You may visit a counselor regarding the mood swings during early pregnancy if you are concerned about the conflicts and breakups anticipated.

What factors can have a negative impact on the couple's relationship? 

• Changes in the postpartum period: A woman has to cope up with many changes in the postpartum period in which she will need her partner's full support. Some of these changes are Tiredness, exhaustion, and lack of sleep: Less positive communication, Increasing conflict, Less time together, Child’s temperament/ disability. 

• Mental health illness: The root cause of major relationship problems after pregnancy. This issue needs to be dealt with most carefully and should not be compromised for the better health of the woman.

•  Pre-existing relationship problems: These should be navigated with care as this issue may make or break a relationship. 

• Some of the other problems found during relationship post pregnancy are insecure adult attachment style.

•  Financial problems: Pregnancy is a very lifestyle change and this will also lead to some financial problems. The couple should navigate through this as a single unit and should not let this become a major relationship problem. 

Partner support during pregnancy

Your partner is the one with whom you can share any emotion and discomfort you feel as a couple. Opening up to each other may resolve many of the conflicts before they even start. 

To have a happy and healthy relationship during pregnancy you need to support your partner. Relationship issues during pregnancy are common and can be easily prevented with this most effective information to prevent them.

Why is partner support important during pregnancy?

Pregnancy can bring you a lot of excitement. But it will surely bring a lot more responsibility which sometimes can lead to anxiety along with joy. The lengthy to-do lists can be a bit more to handle alone. 

You need your partners to support you to evaluate the financial and emotional poorness you are going through. 

To overcome the changes and cope with the unknowns that come along with pregnancy and future baby birth.

Talking to your partner will help you feel stronger and can help you avoid feeling left out. 

• Partner support is specifically more important to the mother and baby during pregnancy. The husband should understand the mood swings during pregnancy. 

• A happy mother is a way to a happy child and a happy family. Partner support is very crucial for this bonding. 

• A sense of teamwork supported by the husband during pregnancy mood swings will make the woman happier and stress-free during and after pregnancy.

What should a partner do to avoid conflict during pregnancy?

If this is your first time to be pregnant, start learning about pregnancy. Learn about pregnancy hormones, women’s mood swings associated with anger and relationship problems during pregnancy.

Read about each trimester and what to expect. Learn how to comfort her during each trimester and make her feel safe and happy.

• Make an appointment with a psychiatric doctor to discuss her concerns.

• Help her in making decisions about the birth defects.

• Attend antenatal classes together.

• Share your opinion on having a baby, if you are not ready.

The only way you can share your love with your baby during pregnancy is through the mother.

Emotional support during pregnancy

• Make her feel lucky by taking time and asking for help to handle her emotions.

• Reassure her and encourage her to maintain positive vibes.

• Show affection by holding hands and giving hugs.

• Respect her choice when she doesn’t want to be touched or have sex.

• Start eating healthy foods supporting her to motivate.

• Try quitting smoking, alcohol, coffee.

• Make some lifestyle changes that you are planning to do like eating healthy, yoga.

• Help her to get adequate sleep to overcome the pregnancy tiredness.

• Plan a short walk to nowhere and say how grateful you feel to have her.

Physical support during pregnancy

• Try doing some household chores that you are comfortable doing.

• Avoid smoking around your wife. It will make her happy if you quit smoking.

• Give her relaxing foot and back massages to help ease stress and aches. 

After delivery support

• Childbirth will take all her energy to help the labor, to feed, change and bath your baby. 

• Ask if she needs any help with handling daily tasks.

• If you have more kids, handle them in the early weeks to make her less anxious.

• Give her time for self-care, exercise, work or do other activities.

There are partners who do not understand the mood changes pregnant women will have and this ignorance will lead to relationship problems in pregnancy. Domestic violence is one of the relationship problems women face while being pregnant. 

Domestic violence during pregnancy

Studies report that domestic abuse starts during pregnancy or will become more during pregnancy or before childbirth. Pregnancy mood swings cause husbands to cheat on their partners due to a lack of libido (sexual desire).

All the mood swings, lack of sex, responsibilities, financial stress and feeling left out may burst up as conflicts between partners.

• Pregnant mood swings may lead to less sexual desire in partners, which may be due to physical changes or less time together, or hormonal changes.

• To solve this at least try having intimacy, if you are not comfortable having sex. Lack of sex will make partners less dependable and end up feeling ignored.

• Don’t be afraid to have sex. Studies say it is totally fine to fulfil sexual desires till the 9th month unless your gynaecologist doctor's advice is to stop. 

• If domestic violence goes out of control, you can call the women aid teams which work to keep women and children safe.

• Never hesitate to lodge a complaint on emotional or physical abuse. Do it for the safety of the baby.

How can a partner get support during pregnancy?

Not only moms, fathers too need care and attention. Even though you are expected to stand for your partner to help and give you time for yourself too.

You may feel anxious and ignored by the family with all the attention towards your child and the mother.

• You can talk to your partner about how you feel and how you want to be included.

• Usually, mothers love having their partner during labor and delivery.

• Talk about the labor and your interest to be there during birth. Some mothers may feel more anxious when they have their partner with them

• Ask questions during the visit to the doctor. This will make your partner and health professionals understand the level of interest and care you have.

• Indulge in your own self-care, exercise, visit friends and spend time alone.

• Don’t hesitate in sharing how you feel about childbirth, take classes to understand the importance of pregnancy.

• Share feelings, ideas, and tips or read informational blogs to make this wonderful.

• Talk about things other than pregnancy. Don’t be afraid of having sex during pregnancy. Ask if she is comfortable during intimacy and respect her if she wants to be left alone.

Relationship with family and friends during pregnancy

• Pregnancy is special to your family along with you and your partner. Your family and your partner’s family will love to take care of you and the baby. Everyone will be excited and like to indulge in everything that involves the baby.

• They care for you like you are a queen and sometimes it can take over you. Family members sometimes start passing opinions that they believe as true.

• This is the time you receive lots of unwanted advice from each one of the family members over every other thing you do.

• In such cases, take a step and express how you feel about their advice. Say you respect and appreciate their help and will follow if felt appropriate.

• Decide on what is important and right for you to follow. After all, it’s your baby and your pregnancy to take care of.

Take-home points

• Try solving your conflicts with adjustment and compromise rather than arguments this will avoid unwanted relationship problems. 

• Communicate your feelings, ideas and emotions you have.

• Mood swings can irritate you and your partner, so talk it out.

• Never avoid any conversation even it leads to different opinions.

• Have fun, date nights, time together, go to movies, eat healthily.

• Enjoy every moment of pregnancy through ups and downs.

Hope you have incredible moments throughout your pregnancy journey!!!

References

• NHS

• NCBI

• Factors influencing the quality of pregnant women life